TIPS FOR A SMOOTH WEDDING CEREMONY

1. Choose Your Officiant Early!

Modern Bride magazine’s “Schedule Checklist” suggests securing an officiant 9-12 months in advance of your wedding day. It is a good idea to seek the services of an officiant shortly after you have secured the ceremony location and have set the time for the ceremony. I believe a minimum of six months is a good idea, and if you are being married in May, June, September or October (and especially if your wedding is scheduled on a holiday, three-day weekend!), nine months in advance is a good idea!

2. Start the Ceremony on Time!

This may seem to be an obvious comment, but starting a ceremony late creates a domino-effect of stress for everyone involved and creates an atmosphere of tension at the start of the ceremony rather than relaxation and ease.

3. Outdoor Ceremonies

Always have a "Plan B" in case of inclement weather. Hoping and praying the rain will stop or inclement weather passes is not a viable option and could possibly create MANY additional problems for vendors and participants alike. Inclement weather happens, so it is best to have an alternate plan to deal with this possibility.

4. Young Children in the Ceremony

Whether the children are your own or relatives or children of friends, there are a few important points to keep in mind. Children are an absolute delight--no doubt about it and can create a beautiful and innocent atmosphere at your wedding. Very young children, however, (4 and under) can create what I refer to as a "wildcard" effect. Some little ones are very happy and comfortable (and sometimes steal the show!) walking down the aisle in front of a large group of people they don't know--other young ones are less than happy and become upset or shy for a number of reasons. So here again it is important to have an alternate plan in case a child is less than happy about their chosen place in your wedding! If child/ren are 4 or younger, please have an adult who is familiar to them assigned to them in case they become fearful or unhappy (or if they just plain don't want to walk down the aisle!)--someone who can scoop them up and hold them until the ceremony is over. You really don't want to have your wedding overshadowed by an unhappy, vocal child, nor should they be forced to become involved in an event that is stressful for them!

5. Wedding Rings

Wedding etiquette dictates that the Best Man is responsible for holding the rings prior to and during the ceremony and will present them to the officiant at the appropriate time during the ceremony. Having them out of their boxes is optimal for their presentation at the time of the ring exchange, so I advise that the Best Man places them in a pocket (without any holes!) for safekeeping prior to and during the ceremony.

6. Ring Bearers

This relates to point #3 above. If you have chosen a child to be the ring bearer (no matter what age), please consider allowing the ring bearer to use the artificial rings that come on the ring bearer's pillow. Here are a few reasons why this might be a good idea--if the child is very young, they can toss the pillow with your wedding rings on them and then there is a scramble to retrieve them. If you tie the rings on very tight to make sure they stay on the ring pillow, it may be difficult to get them off the pillow during the ceremony, resulting in a somewhat embarrassing lapse in the ceremony while someone attempts to untie the rings! In the end, I am perfectly OK with your decision either way, but do believe it is worthwhile to mention a few pitfalls!

7. Unity Candle

If your ceremony is outside and you wish (really, really wish!) to have a Unity Candle for your Special Wedding Tradition, I strongly suggest that you choose a Unity Candle that is 1) either "oil-based" and has wicks for both the individual candles and Unity Candle that are in oil or fuel so the candles will stay lit or 2) choose a Unity Candle that has a hurricane lamp surrounding it to keep the Unity Candle lit. There have been too many ceremonies outside where the candles would not stay lit (better than 50% chance of this happening!), resulting in an embarrassing attempt to get the candles to stay lit and sometimes the couple believing the candles going out is bad luck!

8. Marriage License

Please make absolutely certain that someone has been assigned to make sure the Marriage License arrives at the ceremony with the bride or groom! If the license does not arrive with the couple, this will result in a delay in the ceremony and the ceremony not starting on time (See #1 above!). As an officiant, I cannot perform the ceremony without fulfilling my legal obligation with the license to check for the appropriate dates and processing it prior to the ceremony. So it is imperative that the license arrives with the couple!

9. A Wedding Rehearsal

If your wedding party consists of more than eight adults (total) and/or children as ring bearers and flower girls, please consider investing the time and money to have a rehearsal. I have learned from experience that the wedding ceremony runs much smoother when there has been a rehearsal either a day or two before the ceremony. Everyone feels so much more comfortable with their place and their role in the event when they have practiced at a rehearsal!